This concludes our month of doing something regularly that scares you; working out what fear is and how to go through it. To be frank my main antidote to keeping fearful thoughts at bay is keeping my head up, keeping an even breath and taking my first step. As my dad said to me right when I was leaving home “the one bit of advice I’m going to give you is don’t think too much” for me fear comes when I do think too much, when I give latitude to doubt and when I start down the perilous pros and cons list.

Today I was trying to mentally understand something which was causing my head to spin. Round and round I went trying to understand and make sense of things. I went for a walk and to escape inadvertent eavesdropping on a couple of women banging on about roommate issues I took a path I don’t normally take and wound up at an amphitheater. I lay down on a bench staring at the trees and the sky and continued to spin a little mentally until the birdsong and the scampering of squirrels came too loud to ignore. Finally the nature around me roused me out of my mental quagmire and I was able to release and let go of the grappling and of the pushing and pulling in my mind.

Focusing on the variety of birds, watching a squirrel leap around and then rest on his tummy along a branch got me out of a tailspin. Got me lighter and got me breathing normally again.

So moving forward from this point I want to feel my way through life rather than think it. My heart isn’t scared if my head doesn’t get involved. There we go. A heartfelt thought on Halloween.

Happy Heart led Halloween.

 

Tags: fear, halloween, just do it, Mhairi Morrison, The bead movement