Letting go of clouding today with what may have happened yesterday. For me its been a challenge recently to see whatever is in front of me as a new page, a clean day. Often times experiences of the past can shroud the newness and I want to see every day as its own mini short story (or epic journey as in the life span of a butterfly only being 5 days or so)
Thinking about how courageous I was aged 17 or so and how now I can be more tempted to look down at the swirling waters in the ravine below whereas my younger self would have been more want to just bang on and do something without indulging all the what ifs surrounding the decision. I know it maybe the difference between immaturity and maturity but the growing older thing and being more aware of the potential dangers/complexes/issues surrounding a decision is not helpful if it means you stop in your tracks. My dad always told me to not think too much, which is something I have always tried to adhere to. Thinking too much can cause one to stand still and swing from pros and cons until dizzyness ensues and nothing gets done. Aged 17 one bangs on and does it without too much thought given to what ifs and the swirling potential negatives surrounding decisions. After all ignorance is bliss. Somehow life’s experiences can cause hesitation and doubt which has been what I have wanted to let go of this week. I want to be open and embrace the new day, the new page and not have already written on it with my fears.
Speaking of getting on with it despite fear, I am doing something that I never thought I would do: singing in French and opening a cabaret. I am a mime for a reason and haven’t lived in Paris for years, so my French although good isn’t as fluent as it once was, but here I find myself singing a 5 minute song in French. Et voila, focusing my eyes steadily at the other side of the ravine and, however trepidatious, taking one step at a time towards it.