The next week back from the desert has been a hard adjustment. I think the first few days back I was just jet lagged and getting back into the LA spin of things whereas this week has felt extremely raw. I feel my heart really opened in a massive way in the desert, expanded and now the result is that I feel things in a big way. In a flashy neon bright lighted way. I have felt acutely this week and which led to me last night starting to think perhaps I need to stay in for awhile longer and not be so open, so raw, so reactive with the world. I need to sit a little longer I feel and not make any sudden moves. I’m a little volatile perhaps right now for the world at large. I’ve never really experienced this before but maybe its a result of having seen such extreme suffering and anxiety. Perhaps one tends to live ones life in a middle of the range of emotional type place and if one bears witness to the more extreme sides of life it affects you in an extreme way.
The week ends with an Amnesty Conference which was brilliant, inspiring and expansive. I have rallied, started a chapter in LA with another woman who was looking to begin one, signed up for training to be a trainer with Amnesty and been asked to speak about the FISahara to the Pasadena chapter in January. So it feels like I can throw my extreme energy towards something good and light this week instead of being drawn into bumps in the road in my life which I somehow magnified.
So here’s to a softer, more gentle coming few days…with a little more breath and pause for thought than a big marching brash marching band type rhythm which has beaten out my foot steps these past few days.