Negative feelings, thoughts and patterns – start with yourself!


You know that feeling when you look at someone else’s success and you feel a sting of hurt or slight bitterness. Or you might judge someone for their choices. whenever we focus on what others do or don’t do in a negative way it stifles us, brings out the worst, and most all it is energy draining.

So how can we get rid of it? Is there a quick fix, and an easy way out of it? Maybe not an easy way out of it or quick fix, but I do believe we can get rid of it. The answer is to be found in ourselves, and it requires a conscious decision and monitoring of what we focus on. It’s so simple, and at times so difficult – seek your own happiness, and be rigid in walking your own path.

We constantly get in our own way of living a fulfilled life, and this is one way we are creating our own stop signs for happiness. I just love Marianne Williamson thoughts on relationships; that if we feel negative feelings for someone in any possible way, it is our own job to make ourselves feel better in that particular relationship. It’s not the other person having a problem (even thought they might have issues), our problem stems from us having a problem with that person. Because the underlying fact is that we are not here to fix others, we are just here to fix ourselves. Then if we feel called to serve in some way or another, that’s great. Of course we can share our journey, our knowledge and experience, but we can never tell anyone else what to do or not. We have to remember that everything is a point of view, and that another person will for sure carry another perspective.

What would happen if you today would practice this one simple thing to detach from judgements. 1. Pay attention to your thoughts when you see, meet and hear people. What are you thinking and feeling when you meet and see people? Both people you know and strangers. 2. If you notice you are thinking negative thoughts about someone, or feel negative about them or a situation, or judge them in any way – say silently – “I  see you and I honor you” – and then let it go. 3. At the end of the day write down your experience of the exercise and what thoughts and feelings were instigated by the exercise.

This exercise is so helpful in making ourselves aware of what goes on on the unconscious level in our daily lives and especially in our relationships. What are we really sending out to others? How does that affect our relationships? And what does that do to our own mental health?

And if you liked this exercise, why not go deeper into your own psyche. During one day pay attention to what you are telling yourself? Do the same set of exercises and observe your own thoughts about yourself. The shifts that occur when we reprogram our brains to love, is a shift that will move mountains for you.

Sending you loving thoughts this rainy Sunday from Stockholm,


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