We are searching for what’s perfect. We want to be the perfect partner, parent, citizen, friend, and we want the perfect career and the perfect life – but what’s left of you at the end of the day?
We push ourselves to fit the mould of what life should be. What we think other people expect of us, and what we expect of ourselves. But something is nagging us. Something feels wrong. It’s itching, and our hearts ache. We have become someone else and what is left is a shell of our past self.
We are always on the go, looking for something outside ourselves. Happiness! Success! We long for time on our own, on the couch, the stillness, when we fall into the arms of the one we love, and the snuggle with our kids… when everything is perfect. But once we have it, we are already on our way to somewhere else, and we didn’t get the chance to really love it. Cause when we found ourselves finally being present, the moment had slipped through our hands.
A few years ago I laid down on my bed and the world wouldn’t stop spinning. I was almost burnt out. I took a time out and a plane, not to Bali, but to Los Angeles and a sun chair right by the pool. Right there and then I began my journey back, back to the person I really am. Not the person society, the industry, my close ones or even I expected of myself to be, but the person I am when I peeled off all the layers to reveal the bare bone of the whispering voice of my soul.
Because somewhere within you, a little tiny voice is trying to get heard. That voice have been silenced for way too long. It has a heart full of purpose and marvelous magic. It whispers to be heard. But over the years expectations, fears, learnt behaviors and thought patterns have made you adapt into being someone else.
That voice can’t be silenced.
And the thing is, you don’t have to travel anywhere to find it. It’s right there within you. If, you just sit in silence. And let your thoughts fly by like white little clouds on a clear blue sky. Who are you then? What do you need to hear? And if you knew you could not fail, what would you do?
JohannaTags: authentic self, Johanna Ginstmark, peel off, personal development, silence, The bead movement, unlearning