So, this week was a week of confronting things that I normally don’t like to think about. I tell you it was as if I was cleaning out a drawer. Things began to shift and I felt clearer headed and although I haven’t quite reached nirvana, things are shifting towards me actually being in charge of my own ship.
Despite discovering that I need to save $3.5 M before I turn 70, which could have-and did for a moment-knock my socks off-I generally felt at peace. Knowledge is power and where that would have perhaps floored me before, here knowing it, confronting it head on, allowed me to breathe more easily. The problem could be tackled knowing what the problem was as opposed to the general dread that I generally felt whenever I thought of the word pension. I am fully confident that the tide is on the brink of turning towards favoring the Scottish feathered boa-ed mime and her cooking show which should secure a roof over my head in the sunset of me and my beading life.
Part of the reason for starting this bead thing was to live a less reactionary life. The pace of my life often makes me feel as though I am simply bashing through things that come my way without much space to ponder or think beyond the basic. Generally our society is so based on doing and not so much on thinking it can feel very bizarre and almost guilt inducing to just sit still and think for a moment. Waves of anxiety can clearly threaten a momentary time out and the non-stop list of things waiting for scoring off can squeeze my focus. But assuming I can quiet down the madness, the time it takes to think things through to the next level I think is worth pursuing.
Reminds me of an experiment a marketing company carried out in order to illustrate the point of the time that was needed in order to be creative. The company visited a school and handed out pieces of paper to 10 year olds. On the paper there was a circle with 4 even divisions around the circumference. The children were given 60 seconds to draw something on the paper. When the minute was up, each child had drawn a clock face. Then the company went into another classroom and gave the children the pieces of paper with the circles on them (exactly as the other classroom had been given) this time the children were given 10 minutes to draw something on their papers. In 10 minutes every single child had drawn something different; space ships, balloons, faces…thus proving the companies point; that creativity takes time to develop. The first idea may not necessarily be the best idea.
I am trying to adopt that into my everyday life; to lead a less reactive life. What possibilities may lie within the space just beyond the immediate reaction; beyond the immediate inclination. What more could be discovered if I had a little more time to contemplate, to sit with something rather than just bang on going with the first thought that comes to my frenetic mind?Tags: California, calm, feathers and toast, inspiration, Mhairi Morrison, pension, reactionary, The bead movement