Johanna’s Week Four

The Bead Movement

It was a Sunday morning. I knew I had a smile on my face before I could feel it. Before opening my eyes, I knew they were excited and curious for a brand new day. I felt a gentle breeze from the open window, a touch of fresh air, like right after a wonderful morning rain. As I opened my eyes I saw the sunshine light up a pathway across the bed. It was a beautiful, crisp fall morning, and I felt profoundly happy in the simpleness of things. It was about to become a perfect day. I knew right then and there, before I fully woke up, that I was happy. That nothing could rock me out of balance today.

Just so you know, I love Sundays. I come from a family that very rarely, at tops once a year goes to church, but still I feel a deep connectedness to the soulfulness of that specific day. Maybe it is just that, the lack of forceful religious action that makes me feel at such ease. For the last couple of years Sundays have become my soul days. No matter how much work I have at the moment, I make sure to take at least a few hours off. As a freelance writer, work more often than not take up a huge part of my life, and it became a necessity for me to start taking better care of myself. The Sundays were for me, to catch my breath. For me to get still, to listen. For me to let go. For me to ponder what’s been, and to plan what’s ahead. Ever since Mhairi and I started The Bead Movement Sundays have become even more connected to soul matters. Which in turn have made me aware of the importance to release all that has been in order to just be here and now in this very moment.

But this Sunday turned out to be a bit different from all the previous ones. A lot of it had to do with The Bead Movement; that I am going through a profound process of changing my perspective on life. So this Sunday a new shift took place. Without realizing that fear was starting to interfere, I pondered ‘Will I always be this happy?’. Then in a sudden half panicky way I started to feel a slight heartache and I wondered, ‘How many potentially amazing Sunday mornings do I actually have left in my life?’

I have 2548 Sundays left, if I live to meet my life expectancy average. If I’m even that lucky. The realization of only having 2548 Sundays left made me a bit dizzy. If I am really honest, it seriously knocked me off my feet for a second. I felt as though my Sundays were slipping out my hands. AND that big FEAR of Loss was entering my life again.

BUT,

instead of how I used to handle fear, buy dodging the bullet, I now had another response that when I realized it made me so fantastically happy. I looked fear straight in the eye and I said, ’I choose differently’.

I instantly knew that if I only have 2548 Sundays left, I will not spend one more minute of those Sundays fearful. I want to live those days, those moments the best way I possibly can. I decided to treat them as holy. No matter what happened, they were my loving, soulful days.

And as a few more days passed, I found myself realizing something deeper. That I on that Sunday morning also learnt that I can’t live one out of seven days. I want to live all my days like that. In that moment it became more important to me than before to spend my time with people and on matters I truly love and believe in. I was DONE with everything that wasn’t real, true or important to me. It doesn’t matter if it is professional or personal. It’s the same thing. I was done treating my days like any other day, as if I had tons of days. Because I don’t. What if I die tomorrow? I can’t afford to live unperfect days.

After deciding to quit living half-decent days, as a sign from above in case I didn’t fully figured out my Sunday lesson yet, I got a video from Brendon Burchard in my inbox. In that video, called ‘The Perfect Day’, Brendon says that most people think that they’ll have a few perfect days in their lifetime. Not a bunch, and definitely not on a weekly basis – and he pointed out why. Most people haven’t thought about and stated what a perfect day looks like to them, which means they won’t have them! That is major! Before my ’wake-up call’ that Sunday morning, I hadn’t realized and stated exactly what made me happy. But that day made me think of how I could maximize the happiness in my life on a daily basis. Just like Brendon suggests, I made it clear to myself exactly what I want from a perfect day.

The first thing I pinpointed was the feeling I wanted to carry within me through my days, and that I at the end of the day was feeling contentment. The next step was to incorporate it into my daily bead routine, to set a clear intention so I know what I am aiming for during that specific day. An important aspect for me was that I don’t aim for all days to be spectacular, but instead exactly what I want and need from that day depending on circumstances and goals. What ever my intention is, I describe how I will go about my day in keywords or full sentences every morning.

And as a result, when I go to bed at night now I can honestly say, more often than not, that I am content with my day. I’m not saying that they all are amazingly perfect, and of course I struggle at times. But compared to before, I feel really good about my days. I know that I have spent them on something that was meaningful. What I also got from this is the amazingness of waking up to a new day, knowing that I have released my yesterday, and that I view this new day as a blank canvas to paint upon. What I learned this week is that I don’t just love my Sundays, I love all my days. Every day is a blessing. I have a sense within me now that I am granted this day so I can do something purposeful with it, whatever that might be. I am truly committed to spend my days with the people I love, doing the things I love, and to take utterly care of the moments. No matter how big or small. They are all precious because I’ve chosen them, and I’ll never get them back.

Love, Johanna.

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