Johanna’s Week Seven

Getting the signs

It all started with me getting a cold. I’d had too few hours of sleep for too many days in a row, and when adding plane flights traveling Sweden to the mix, it was a recipe if not for disaster very much so for getting sick. I know that if I am rested and if I eat healthy my immune system can beat the crap out of the oncoming colds that circulate the cramped space of airplane cabins, but here I was sleep-deprived and a bit over-worked, so of course the cold knocked me out. I thought ‘Well, I just need to get a bit of rest, and then I’ll be on my feet’.

The tricky thing was that I, while deteriorating into the self-pitying of getting sick, didn’t see the whole picture all that clearly yet. The fact was that me getting sick didn’t just have to do with too few hours of sleep and overworking. What I hadn’t yet realized was that I, for a period of time, had been busy trying to fit in a whole lot (too much) into my 24 hour days.

After starting the Bead Movement I am, even more so than before, really eager to do great work and to be a great person for others. It wasn’t until I had chopped off the top of my index finger while slicing bread, and clumsily walked into things getting seriously bruised, that I got the lesson the universe so forcefully was trying to tell me. It was when talking to Mhairi, analyzing the past week on the hunt for signs to listen to, messages to receive and lessons to learn, that we got my aching self figured out. I was HURTING myself (cold, chopping off finger and bruising myself) with how I lived my life! What I realized was that I hadn’t been paying my body and soul the nurturing attention it needed. I had been busy living my days to the fullest to the extent that I had forgotten the re-energizing elements I needed to stay healthy!

Being a freelance writer in the film and television industry can at times be quite stressful. It’s up to me when I am done with the day or week. It’s up to me whether or not I will have food on the table at the end of the day, and money to pay my bills at the end of the month. I need to be 100% creative and at my very best more or less every day. It gives me the amazing opportunity to do what I want, when and where I want to. As people in the creative industry we are expected to perform and outdo ourselves with every new piece of work we do. We are all so aware of that if we don’t do a good job, there are hundreds in line behind us, eager to take our place. So I work a lot. When I don’t work I like to spend my time with my loved ones doing fun and meaningful things. So, that’s why I found myself a bit worn out this week, because somewhere along the line, I had forgotten to nurture myself. The three incidents of me getting hurt was a sign to start taking better care of myself. No matter how much I want to be a good friend, a loving sister, a great colleague, and a wonderful girlfriend, I can’t be any of that unless I take care of myself first.

The Bead Movement has had a major impact on my and Mhairi’s life, we keep pushing ourselves in a greater way than we ever did before, and together we stay alert to what our bodies, minds and hearts are telling us. We are really eager to learn the lessons we have in front of us, because rather sooner than later (cold, chopping off finger etc). This week’s lesson for me was to pull back a little on the action, because what I needed, apart from sleep, was me-time.

So I started to take extra long walks. I took time to just sit still by the water watching nature and time fly by. Since I love to dig deep into my soul, and to find new layers in life, I listened to soulful podcasts and spiritual radio shows. I took long hot baths contemplating life with a glass of red wine or a cup of Yogi tea. There is something really lovely with cuddling up in bed with a big bowl of popcorn or ice cream watching a lovely movie or reading a non work related book. In essence, I catched up with myself. So please, whatever works for you – just do it! And do it now! It’s all about treating yourself as the most important person in your life, because you are! In fact, if you don’t, you can’t fully be there for anyone else…

Love, Johanna


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