Johanna’s Week 8

The truth

It is a time of extremes. Here in Sweden a right wing populist and anti-immigration political party gained votes in the recent national elections and became the third biggest party in our parliament. The cold war has reentered Sweden with active military operations against foreign submarines in the Stockholm archipelago. In the world we see deadly illnesses spread killing thousands, poverty is rising, severe droughts and other natural disasters attack our vulnerable societies, terrorism is escalating and horrible wars are raging. It’s impossible not to be affected by it.

I am curious by nature and since I was a child I have been deeply interested in finding out the truth about people, events and circumstances. I can’t rest until I get to the bottom of things. Stones left unturned is not for me. In human relationships people rarely tell the truth, instead the truth often hides in what they don’t say. At a young age I figured out that media rarely told the truth about events, but instead told someone else’s perspective of the truth, or what someone thought people at that specific time was to perceive as a truth depending on different aspects and circumstances. I knew that if I ever wanted to know the truth I had to search for it on my own.

As a writer I often come back to the subject of finding out the truth, no matter if I am writing a political thriller or an epic love story. On a personal level I have become really interested in how we as individuals perceive our lives, the world, and each other. Often unaware of it, we live our lives controlled by and conditioned by our pasts, not really able to perceive what really is. We are
affected by every situation and person coming into our lives. If we have been abandoned it leaves a mark in one’s soul that makes abandonment a reality which in affect makes one fear abandonment in every new relationship preceding the first. If not questioned our pasts disable us to view situations, people and the world for what it really is. All we would ever see is our past. This way of perceiving the world cloud our judgements and disable us from living the lives we want and dream of. And in essence that is also the root of conflicts, no matter the level, international relations like war and diplomatic efforts or personal . If we can’t see things for what they really are, we’ll never really connect truly on a deeper and more profound level, and the peace we all are looking for will always fail. So how does one free oneself of past conditioning?

I started to look at things in my apartment. I saw a table that once stood in my grandmother’s living room, a chair me and my ex boyfriend once bought, a flower my boyfriend bought me, a blanket my aunt and uncle funded by a gift certificate, and a painting my father’s artist friend painted right after my father’s death. All my things were connected to something that had been, to memories. After a while when looking at these things trying to see the truth, what they really were, it suddenly appeared in clarity. All things were connected to love.

The table and the chairs are manufactured for people to share a cup of coffee or a meal together. It’s made to connect people, so people can get closer to each other, and so we can get nourished by a meal. My blanket is made to keep me warm on cold days. The flower is a living plant that brings beauty and makes my air cleaner. And the painting is a piece of art that makes my home a beautiful place. To detach my past from these objects created a shift in how I view the world. Understanding that our pasts cloud our decision making, that things are what I perceive them to be. Just because someone abandoned me previously in my life, or just because some people called me ugly as a kid doesn’t make it a truth. Their actions were conditioned by their reality and their struggles, and I can’t do anything about their perspective. What I can do is to not let it influence my life now and my future. I am the one in charge of my life, my actions and how I decide to look at things – and I choose to look at things with an open heart with love and compassion, always seeking the truth in people so I can love them for who they really are not their past conditioning.

Love, Johanna.

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