Can I really do this? Will I fail? Am I good enough? What will other people think? Will I add value? Will I really make a difference? What if I’m delusional? Who do I think I am?
That was some of the thoughts that ran through my head this Tuesday.
I’ve been a lecturer in film & television writing, and dramaturgy since 2011 at a Swedish university. Since my life completely changed 3 1/2 years ago, and I delved deep into personal development I started to add the elements I learnt into my teaching. To be a freelance writer isn’t just about being a great writer, it’s also about creating a career, to manage your own company, to be productive and to perform at top level no matter what happens in life. It’s a tough job and you need a strong self.
Towards the end of last year a writer colleague asked me why I didn’t teach more people in our business about this personal development work I have learnt over the years. It started as a little seed of thought and this week it came into it’s first full fruition. I had the first workshop solely focusing on personal development.
For me, this is truly one of my passions; to help people get where they deeply want to go. But since it’s not my ”real” profession – after all, I’m just a writer and script consultant – this whole adventure was filled with a whole lot of fear. Deep down, I truly feel it’s the right path for me. I want to split my time between this, to write and to script consult. So I knew it was right. I just had a whole lot of fears that stood in my way.
It was a long time since I was this nervous as I was this Tuesday, but it turned out great. And I’m incredibly grateful for the people who came out and made the evening a great experience. It became a testament to essence I am teaching – if you know you are meant to do something in life; never ever stop. Just do it. Go after it. Work through what ever stands in your way; be it exterior or interior obstacles. Just go!
To do this workshop I knew I had to put myself out there and be really vulnerable. The only way I can teach is to show I’m one of them. That’s how I work. So I needed to share pieces of my very personal story in order for them to believe the power of my exercises. I needed to take multiple leaps of faith during the workshop, and I was so happy that I did.
So the lesson of this week is, the only way to get what you truly want is to be REAL and completely VULNERABLE. There’s no room for half leaps or trying. It’s all or nothing. So THANK YOU to those of you who were there – it was a small step for some, but a BIG one for me.