This month our theme is DO which is easier said than done. Sometimes the little words can trip one up the most I find. Not over thinking or qualifying something just being confident that it is the right thing and doing it. I am feeling my fear and doing it anyway this week as I rehearse to sing in French. It is one of the hardest things I have ever attempted…as singing has never been my strong suit and singing in French in a cabaret is something I never thought I would tackle. The magnitude of what I have taken on came to me last night as I rehearsed with the company. The waves of heat and nauseau I felt when banging out the song were not pleasant and all last night I fought frantically the thoughts of not being able to do it and the abject humiliation I felt certain I was on the brink of going through.
I thought of my brother who is someone with whom I share the characteristic of just leaping into something before analyzing exactly what it all entails. This has resulted in us almost having to be air lifted off mountain sides and coming down canyons and out of trees with care and trepidation. The cabaret was looking like one such incident for me but I have no idea if theres any sort of emergency rescue team able to extricate a mime from a show.
But this morning, working tirelessy through the number with a dear friend, I suddenly saw outside of myself and thought here I am: I am someone who isn’t defeated by something extremely hard no darling, I am going to get through this with determination and hard work. And that goes back to one of the main things I am trying to incorporate into my life-courage. It seems in this instance at least courage is synomenous with just doing. Knowing what the job is and doing it, whatever I have in me to make it happen I will use. And that ladies and gentlemen is all I can say about that this week. Over and out until next week when hopefully I shall report back to you a happy singing outcome for the moment I must return to the feathers and the music and try, try and try again. A little like Robert the Bruce and the spider in the cave. Just simply doing, doing and doing it again.cabaret, courage, do, fear, Mhairi Morrison, Robert the Bruce, The bead movement