Somehow, despite never having rehearsed the whole show and never having done it before with lights and costumes, We Did It. There really is something to that saying of don’t overthink it simply do it, that when the chips are down one really does have two choices, either sinking or swimming and despite not being able to swim underwater I did manage to breast stroke my way to success on Thursday night.
I have a serious phobia of rats and when I was living in Studio City a few years ago in a lovely little guest house tucked away in the corner of a utopian garden I had the challenging experience of coming face to face with this fear. I always kept my door open and was on a work phone call to New York. Wandering around the tiny apartment as I talked I happened to look vacantly out of the door and stared at 7 animals falling over themselves as they struggled to eat seed which had fallen from a bird feeder hanging from a tree. I stared at the animals and ran through a checklist of what they might be. Not birds, not squirrels, possums or dogs. It was as if I couldn’t properly comprehend what I was staring at. Then I knew. It was a family of 7 rats.
I closed the door, got off the phone, phoned my landlady and then sat on my couch staring at the rats for the rest of the afternoon. For some reason I couldn’t tear myself away from staring, disgusted, intrigued and frozen to the spot. I suddenly realized that even though I was staring at my most feared thing I was still able to breathe, was still functioning, was in actuality, still able to cope.
Anyway, thats the sort of feeling I felt post coming through my turn as a singer on Thursday night. Moral of the story is the age old adage it seems of what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Et voila, I’m ready for the easier bit now, the bit in life which isn’t propelling one into conquering fears and slaying dragons, I’m ready for a bit of hammock-ing and champagne cocktail sipping. Heres to calmer seas this week and if there does happen to be a raging storm, heres to staring it right in the eye and getting through it anyway. This is the month of DO after all, so lets just bang on and get on with it. You may surprise yourself.
Tags: cabaret, calm, just do it, Mhairi Morrison, overcome, phobia, The bead movement