Johanna’s Decision

The Bead Movement

Some people react to this project as a bit morbid. ’Do I really want to see my days run out?!’ For me it couldn’t be further away from death, this is an action FOR life. Personally I know all too well that life is fragile; that life in an instant can turn your world upside down, or brutally end. And I wanna make sure I spend the few days I potentially have left (17,893 based on life expectancy average) living my life to its fullest.

When Mhairi, over a dinner at Hugo’s, first told me about this idea, we immediately started to discuss the big LIFE question. It struck me, that there is something very essential in how one poses the question. Rather than saying, ‘What do I want from life?’, I found it important to ask ‘What do I want my life to be?’. Because there is a huge difference. Either I live my life expecting things from others, and by that being reactive, or I set an intention and lead my life from a proactive approach. In no way do I mean that as ’I am better off on my own’, because I want to live my life based on great relationships and collaborations. But I do believe life is what we ourselves make it, that I am the master of my destiny, and that I need to take full responsibility for my actions. I also believe that when we are aligned, the right things, and the right people will cross our paths at the perfect time.

It was rather amazing, just the decision to start this project instantly made an impact on my life. My intention to live more in the present moment gave me a new focus. Even though I already plan and schedule my time quite well, this new perspective gave me a deeper and more clear focus. It was a slight shift in perspective that enhanced what was important to me in every situation. It all sound so easy and obvious, but I’ve always had a hard time being in the Now. Before I was always rushing off somewhere, especially when not working, and still I am nowhere near where I want to be. So when Mhairi asked me what I wanted to get out of this, my answer was simple: to live in the present moment.

For me the key to everything I hold dear is embedded in being in the NOW. To live fearlessly in, from and with love. To listen, to see the other person, and to discover. To create, tell stories, and to serve. To achieve my dreams, my desires and to be happy. Yes, of course, I learn from my past, and I work for and set my intentions for the future, but my life is now. As the famous quote by Gandhi goes, ‘Happiness is when what you think, what you say,
and what you do are in harmony‘ – so how do you do that?

After pondering the question quite a bit, I realized happiness wasn’t something I could seek or find, but something that was already a natural state within me. When discovering that, it became so much easier to choose love over fear. So what do I mean by that? Happiness becomes present when we live our truth guided by our deepest desire, our heart’s wishes. In order to live our lives in that manner, it’s inevitable to confront and release our fears. Not run away from them or gently, or for that matter quite angrily, put or shove them away in a closet. Because it’s only when we look fear in the eye, that we can see the naked truth behind. Fears cloud our judgement, they stand in our way for living our lives the way we want to. And instead of choosing to be guided by fear, I choose the loving way, not just for myself, but hopefully also for all the people affected by my decisions.

Easy-peasy, right? It’s nowhere near a simple task to do, and it’s not always very pleasant. It’s easy to get caught up in the thoughts of ‘who am I to say/do/be this?’, but going against those limiting beliefs is what sparks the action to become the true you, the one you really are at your innermost core. It’s the root to your happiness. And most of all, it’s so worth it.

Just over the first initial week of discussing the project with Mhairi I started to become more present. It was a little, yet profound, shift in perspective of how I viewed my life and the world. It was as if I suddenly viewed everything a bit more clearly. I started to give the different actions of work and personal life some kind of new intent. I started to make a real, and conscious decision about who I wanted to spend my time with, and what I wanted to spend my time on. It also sparked actions in both my professional and personal life. Actions that I wouldn’t have taken before, because my fear of failure or my fear of what other people would think would have stopped me from moving forward with, or even thinking about, those ideas. The shift of perspective made me view all the different pieces of my life as the grand puzzle it is. And I saw that all the pieces were equally important, not equally big, but very much needed to make the picture a whole.

But still, I had no idea how much this project would effect me…

Love, Johanna.

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